The F-Word

Picture with me if you please…. The crimson sun playfully peeks at the earth below from behind a lone migrating cloud. After several minutes of playing peek-a-boo, the now emboldened sun completely breaks free from the cloudy drape and bathes the entire Serengeti in a warm, gorgeous, orange glow. The animal kingdom is astir. The carnivores chant their daily mantra: ‘I must outrun the slowest prey otherwise I will starve.’ In another part of the Serengeti, the herbivores chant a similar mantra: ‘I must outrun the fastest predator, otherwise I will end up a digested mess!’ But one young gazelle, Jesse, couldn’t be bothered with the customary chant this morning. Reason? He woke up feeling like a lion. So while his family and friends stretch out their muscles and do warm up exercises to ready themselves for their daily inevitable sprints, Jesse watches them with a smug look on his face. He yawns, lazily gets up and moves away from his herd. “Jesse!” his mother calls after him, “where are you going?!” “I’m going to see my homies mom!” She yells after him again but he keeps walking…towards a pride of lions nearby.

The lions look up and curiously watch him through squinted eyes as he approaches. The closer Jesse gets the more suspicious their look gets. Mufasa, the alpha lion, turns to his oldest son and says “Yo Simba! Are you seeing this?” “Ya pops. Isn’t that Bob’s kid? What does he think he’s doing?” Just then Jesse arrives and lies down in their midst, raising up his right front hoof in a display of solidarity: “Top of the morning my brathas! What’s crackalacking? I’m starving! What’s for breakfast?” No one responds. All the lions’ foreheads are creased into an inquisitive look. Unphased, Jesse continues: “I have a great recommendation for you. My little brother is such a pest. We can have him as an appetizer and then for the main course we can eat the Oboho clan – they’re always bullying me around!” All the lions are bewildered at this point. Simba  jumps up and excitedly says “Ooooooh! I know what this is! We are being punked! Ashton Kutcher, where you at? Ashtooooon! Hahaha you got us!” As the other lions join in on the laughter, Sarabi, the pride’s matriarch, decides she has had enough of the shenanigans. She gets up, gives thanks for her good fortune, and needless to say, things don’t end well for Jesse. No amount of him feeling like he was a lion that morning turned him into one. He still remained a gazelle – a digested one at that!

There is the all-famous f-word we are familiar with; however, there is another little-known four-letter word. This f-word is not vulgar; in fact it is considered a good thing – but if left unchecked, it can be very dangerous and can hugely derail us from that which God has in store for us. This other f-word I am referring to is the word “feel”.

We have a tendency to place undue emphasis, weight and importance to our feelings. We let feelings govern us instead of lording over them. We say to ourselves:

• I feel it therefore it must be true.
• I don’t feel it therefore it must be false.
• I feel like doing something therefore I will do it.
• I don’t feel like doing something therefore I will not do it.

God created us as emotional beings – and so there is absolutely nothing wrong with feelings. They have their importance and they have their place. The problem arises however when we treat the feelings as absolute truth – regardless of what the actual truth is. Consider our unfortunate misguided friend Jesse: no amount of him feeling like he was a lion turned him into one. So I would caution us to carefully evaluate anything we utter following the words “I feel” to ensure that it lines up with the truth – and if it doesn’t, then we should make sure that we do not allow it to overpower us, derail us and impede us from acting according to the truth of God’s word.

Have you noticed that every time you say something you know is contrary to God’s word, you never say it definitively? For example, you wouldn’t typically say ‘God hates me. He doesn’t care. He has abandoned me.’ No. Rather we say I feel like God doesn’t care….

Lord knows “feelings” have been a huge struggle for me! Take even this blog for example. There are many times when I feel intimidated; or like I am in way over my head – and so I doubt and second guess myself and in those moments I just stop blogging. So how am I learning to overcome this feelings trap? By combating it with the truth of God’s word. And so with regards to the blog, I just need to remind myself that even though I may feel untrained or under-qualified, I just have to trust and believe the words of Hebrews 13:21- Now may the God of peace… equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him.

So what else do we say to ourselves and how can we overcome it?

• When you feel like God doesn’t love you or doesn’t care or has abandoned you, you should remind yourself that nothing could be further from the truth. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). Deuteronomy 31:6 further encourages us: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
  
• We say to ourselves: ‘I feel like a failure’ or ‘I feel like my life will never amount to anything’. But how does that compare to the truth of God’s word from Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
• Or we can say ‘I don’t feel motivated therefore I won’t work hard at it.’ But how does that measure up to the admonition in Colossians 3:23-24: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human bosses, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
• How about this one: ‘I feel like giving up; I feel like I can’t go on any more.’ This link has a number of scriptures to encourage us to keep going.

But of all the “I feel likes”, I think the one that causes us the most anguish is forgiveness.

We say ‘I don’t feel like I can forgive him/her’. But how do we reconcile that with the truth of God’s word that says But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:15). We sometimes fight back and say, ‘but God, you don’t know what they did to me; it’s unforgivable! They took advantage of me, betrayed me, abused me, hurt me to my core’. But God does indeed know exactly what they did to you and the effect that has had, and is still having on you – yet He still asks you to forgive. And before we think that God is out of touch with the concept of pain and betrayal, let’s think of the Lord Jesus. People were quite literally in the middle of unjustly murdering Him, and this was after inflicting unimaginable pain on his body that left him disfigured, ugly and pretty much unrecognizable. But did He say Father smite them all dead? No! Would anyone blame him if he wished nothing but the worst for those who tortured Him? Absolutely not! But what did He say instead? “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) Wow!

I think the reason why we struggle a lot in this area is that we wait to “feel” the feeling of forgiveness before we can forgive. We wait to not feel the pain/hurt/betrayal before we can forgive. But that’s putting the cart before the horse. Forgiveness isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice. We are to forgive even when we don’t feel like it – and then the emotions of feeling like we have forgiven may follow later – or they may never come at all. Why does God insist that we forgive? It’s for our own good! If we don’t forgive – neither will He forgive us. Also, when we harbor unforgiveness, we bear responsibility for our own healing. But when we forgive, we create room for God and transfer that responsibility to Him. When we forgive, let go and surrender the hurts, the pain, and the betrayal to Him, He takes over the situation and works to restore us back to wholeness (emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, physically).

You know what else isn’t a feeling but a choice? Love! God tells us “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.” (Matthew 5: 43-45)

Wait a minute now! Is God serious?? So now not only do we have to forgive them but we have to love them as well?? Does God expect us to feel warm fuzzy feelings towards those who are hurting us? I don’t think so. So what did He mean by “love them”? How do we do that? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 shows us how: we are to treat them in a Christ-like manner and we are to not hold their sins over their heads. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Finally, friends, remember that God will never ask you to do something that is impossible for you to do. Yes, it may be impossible with your own strength – but God works in you to provide you with what you need to obey Him and to accomplish that which He asks you to do (Philippians 2:13). So yes! by Christ’s strength, you are capable of forgiving that person. And yes! by Christ’s strength, you are able to love that “enemy”. And yes! by Christ’s strength, you can push through those “I don’t feel like” obstacles and act/respond according to the truth of God’s word. He whom the Son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36).
Live Free.

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