YOU Feed Them

When I read the Bible, I often times wonder what my reactions would be had I been one of Jesus’ 12 disciples. As an introvert and a planner, I know for sure there is one situation that would have had me highly irate and ready to lose my entire mind. Here is the scene from Mark 6: The apostles had been with Jesus all day and because of an endless stream of people coming and going, the disciples hadn’t even had a chance to eat. Added to this, Jesus had received news of the beheading of His relative and friend, John the Baptist. Needless to say, Jesus and His disciples desired some time away for some much-needed rest and relaxation by themselves without the crowds – and that is exactly what they set out to do. They got on a boat and headed out. But the pesky crowd spotted them leaving and by the time they reached their destination, rather than relaxing, they were inundated by 5,000+ people – who I imagine were loud, needy, disruptive, and inevitably they all got hungry. Now this is the part where I would have legit stopped following Jesus: When told to send away the crowds so they can go buy food for themselves, Jesus’ response was this: “YOU feed them”. Had I been there, my response to Him would have been: “What?? Are you kidding me Lord?? With what should we feed them, huh?? I mean look around you! We’re in the middle of nowhere! Did we not just tell you that there isn’t a store for miles? And even if there was, it would cost us a half year’s wage just for them to get one tiny bite of bread each! Surely there is better use for our money! Also, can’t you see that the 12 of us are hungry, tired, grieving and in need of some quiet time? Plus who invited all of them anyway?? We came here to get away from them and now they get to be MY problem??? Absolutely not, Jesus! Absolutely not! Send them away! Let them figure it out!”

Now, do you think Jesus would have understood all those valid points I raised in my hypothetical rant? Of course He would have – He knew all the facts of the situation the disciples were in and the challenges His command posed. Did He understand that His command to feed the crowd  could be perceived as being “absurd” and “insensitive”? Absolutely! So why then would He still ask such an “unreasonable” thing? Why place that “burden” on His disciples?

Let me pause here for now and tell you about my recent trip to Kenya. When I arrived, for about 2 weeks, I suffered from terrible jet lag and insomnia. I got no more than 4 hours of sleep each day – and those 4 hours were full of interruptions. I knew that once I returned to Canada I would not have any time to rest before reporting back to work. So I decided that on the Nairobi to Frankfurt overnight leg, I would upgrade myself to business class so I can get good sleep lying down and be refreshed for the work week ahead. I knew what it would cost to upgrade – based on previous quotes – and I had made peace with the price and proceeded to set the money aside. One day a friend came to see me. As he was talking, God placed it in my heart to give him X amount of dollars. In my mind I was like hmmm… that will cut into my upgrade budget – but okay. As I went into my purse to retrieve the money, God prompted me to double it. I thought to myself, well now that’s reeeeally cutting into my budget here – but I have learned never to question the voice of God when He asks me to bless people financially. And so I obeyed, gave the money, and my friend was very happy. This happened again when I went to visit an aunt. I had a certain amount in mind but God prompted me to double it – which I did. And there were other similar instances throughout my trip.

Fast forward to the day of my departure. At this point I was no longer comfortable with upgrading given the “hit” my budget had taken. I had however been praying to God, asking Him to make a way. When I got to the airport, I inquired about upgrading to business class. When the agent quoted the price to me, I almost fainted! It was 4 times higher than it was last year! I was floored! Visibly distressed. There was absolutely no way I could justify wasting that kind of money. So I said to him behind wide, bewildered eyes: “What happened?? It was so much cheaper last time!” He just said “things change and it’s dependent on many factors”. I just whispered a prayer and resigned myself to a restless, sleepless 9 hours cooped up in tiny seat in a metal box in the sky. As I was gathering my things to go, the agent said to me “wait, let me check something”. Long story short, miraculously, he offered the upgrade to me at a 95% discount! Practically a throw away price and waaay below what I had anticipated it would cost. Needless to say my lips were filled with praises for my King! Fast forward again…I am in Frankfurt now, waiting to board my 8.5 hour flight to Toronto. As we were boarding, I handed the agent my boarding pass and when he scanned it, his face lit up. He tore up my boarding pass and handed me a new one saying “Aaah! Ms. Thuo! You have been upgraded to business class! Enjoy your flight!” This time the upgrade was completely free; no cost to me whatsoever! You best believe I had tears streaming down my face as I walked towards the plane. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the goodness and faithfulness of God! Here I was hoping for just one upgrade; and He gave me two!

God knew the desires of my heart. He knew that I had  set aside some money to purchase an upgrade; a fund that He repeatedly asked me to dip into multiple times to bless others – until it was all gone. But in His omniscience, God knew that there was absolutely no way my little budget would be enough for one upgrade; let alone two. And so my merciful and loving Heavenly Father laid out a plan to bless me – but He needed my obedience, my trust, and my faith in Him. Like the widow who baked bread for Elijah with the very last ounces of flour and olive oil she had, the “test” before me was this: would I be willing to lay aside my own needs and desires for the benefit of someone else?  Looking back, I now see that even Him asking me to double my giving was not a coincidence. Double the obedience yielded a double reward; a double upgrade.

So back to the question I posed earlier…when God asks us to do something “absurd” with resources we think we don’t have, He is not being an unreasonable bully who is out of touch with our reality, with our struggles, our challenges, our insufficiencies and needs. No! Quite the opposite. When He asks us to give or serve sacrificially, it is because He wants to bless us in tremendous ways – but He wants to see if we can truly trust and obey Him, even when it doesn’t make any sense to us. Furthermore, when God asks us to give, or go, or serve, He is not asking us to use OUR resources or OUR giftings. No. He is inviting us to partner with Him and use HIS resources. We are but a conduit He works through. Hebrews 13:21 reminds us that God equips us with all we need to do His will. He is the one who produces in us, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him. As John 6:5-6  shows us, when Jesus asked Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test Phillip, for He already had in mind what He was going to do.

How many times have we failed the test to obey God? To trust Him? I know I have failed numerous times.

Often times we don’t know (and likely will never know on this side of heaven) why God asks us to give or to minister to people – just like I don’t know why my auntie and friend needed that specific amount of money. But other times, God allows us to see why. A couple of months ago I was in church when my phone beeped. Normally I wouldn’t check but I did that time. It was my cousin responding to an old text I had sent her. Though she had been unemployed for a few months, I had never thought to send her any money. But that morning, as soon as I saw her name on my screen, God dropped it in my heart to send her a specific amount of money which I wired instantly. Then I felt compelled to say the word timely to her – as in “I hope this gift is timely”. She wrote back saying she was in tears because it was indeed very timely! She was facing a deadline situation where a payment needed to be made ASAP and the person that was to pay was not available – and failure to pay would have resulted in a missed opportunity to be involved in something life-changing. Additionally, a mere hours before I sent her the funds, she had prayed to God asking Him to bless her with money to buy new shoes. She had only one nice pair of shoes that she always wore to church and it was now very worn out due to overuse. With the gift God provided for her, through me, she was able to meet the payment deadline, and buy three pairs of shoes (whereas she had only prayed for 1). When she shared her testimony with me I cried so hard! I could not wrap my mind around God’s love. God in His tenderness, love and mercy, cared enough about her “big” deadline situation, and her “small” shoe problem. He ensured that by the time the sun set that day, she would be in receipt of provision from her Heavenly Father. Friends, this is the God we serve! One that cares even about something as “insignificant” as a new pair of shoes.

There is yet another testimony a friend shared with me just last week about a small investment I made in her life for her to attend a course 4 years ago (when I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to do so). I had completely forgotten that I had even sowed into her life. It turns out that that course she took has now become instrumental, pivotal, and highly significant in the new trajectory God has set her life on now.

So would these miracles in these individuals’ lives have taken place without my obedience? Absolutely! God would have made another way had I chosen not to give – because nothing can frustrate the plans of God (Isaiah 14:27); but the loser in these disobedience-driven missed opportunities would have been me. It is such a great blessing to have the privilege to partner with God in His work – be it in giving, going, serving, interceding, teaching….you name it. It’s a great a blessing to be used of Him to be an answer to someone else’s prayer. Remember that when it comes to the kingdom of God, there is no such thing as being “too generous”. We can never out give God. He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all–how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32) God was, is, and always will be very generous with us. Let us not be tight-fisted when He asks us to give of ourselves, of our lives, our time, our talents, our gifts, and our money towards serving Him and advancing His kingdom. But we should give and serve from a pure heart, out of love; not because we somehow expect to receive something in return.

In this selfish, self-centered, me-first world we live in, let us purpose to live righteous, open, generous and selfless lives; lives that our Heavenly Father can flow through to bless and provide for others. And if you need further encouragement, remember this: God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them. (Hebrews 6:10)

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